Let Go: The Art of Caring Less and Living More

You have to be different.

Even when people around you don’t support it, being true to yourself is the only way to live a proper life (Yeah I know, such a cliche).

Most of this comes from my own experience. As a student, I face classmates who disagree with me and criticize all the time. Whether it's school or work, you'll always encounter people who talk behind your back. It can be tempting to conform or to fade into the background just to avoid conflict.

But deep down, you know that isn't the right path. If you're struggling with this, just like I once did, here are some steps that might help you embrace yourself and thrive.

STEP 1: Identity

Many people miss this first crucial step. Understand that your feelings are deeply tied to your sense of identity.

For example, as someone naturally talented in sports, I participate in almost all school tournaments. I noticed something surprising: during a floorball tournament, I wasn't nervous at all. But when it came to football, my main sport, I was extremely nervous.

Why?

Because my identity is being a football player, not a floorball player. Failing in the football tournament felt like it would shatter my entire football identity.

In that moment, I experienced what Dan Koe calls "mental death." The football player part of me was at risk, which is why I felt so anxious.

STEP 2: Create Your Identity

Now that you understand identities, it's time to build one that's strong enough for you to defend against the whole world—your ideal self.

This task is both simple and challenging. Here's the most straightforward approach I recommend:

Grab a pen and paper, and start writing. The more detailed you are about the person you want to become, the better.

STEP 3: Consume

Once you've defined your ideal persona, seek out content that this person would consume or that reminds you of them.

This step is crucial as well because you need to constantly reinforce this identity.

Have you ever felt like a complete mess?

I've experienced this when I consumed content that didn't align with my ideal self, and my sense of uniqueness and identity started to fade.

It's easy: what you input into your mind determines your output. What you consume dictates who you become.

That’s it for this newsletter, thank you for reading.

– Jan